During my 4th month of pregnancy, the uncertainty of what was going on with my ladybug was at its highest. I didn’t know if she would survive to term, and if she did – I didn’t know what, if anything would be wrong. The only thing we knew at this point for sure was that she was a girl, had a high Nuchal Translucency measurement, and short femurs. Everything aside from that was in the hands of the powers that be.
On one day in particular I remember returning to work from a weekly ultrasound appointment feeling a little down because the findings hadn’t improved. I was still at this point very quiet about what I shared with others, but felt compelled to let a co-worker know what was going on.
Every day I wake up and repeat the words that she told me. (One of my many mantras). “No matter what comes to be with this baby girl when she is born – she will always be perfect to you.” Catherine, you couldn’t have been more right, I don’t see ladybug as being a 19 month old who looks like a 5 month old. I see her as my sweet little baby girl. Age is just a number and I know that she will reach the milestones she is meant to reach at her own pace. I don’t see ladybug as being developmentally or physically delayed – she is exactly where she should be. I try not to stress about having to feed her through a tube in her tummy – maybe she will eat orally again maybe she wont. There is only one person who knows the answer and right now she is quite content with taking the odd ‘Mum Mum’ (rice rusks cookie) and otherwise being tube fed. To me my ladybug is perfect CDG and all. Albeit I may have the odd breakdown about her health issues now and then after all I am human but I wouldn’t want to change a single thing. Sometimes you just need to a new perspective on things to remind you what is really important.
This poem was recently posted by a CDG family member and I don’t think I could sum up how I feel about having a daughter with special needs better.
My Perfect Child
As my children were born, I wanted them
to be perfect. When they were babies, I
wanted them to smile and be content
playing with their toys. I wanted them to
be happy and to laugh continually
in-stead of crying and being demanding. I
wanted them to see the beautiful side
of life.
As they grew older, I wanted them to
be giving instead of selfish. I wanted
them to skip the terrible twos. I wanted
them to stay innocent forever.
As they became teen-agers, I wanted
them to be obedient and not rebellious,
mannerly and not mouthy. I wanted them
to be full of love, gentle and
kind-hearted.
“Oh, God, give me a child like this” was
often my prayer. One day he did. Some
call him handicapped… I call him Perfect!!Source/Author Unknown
Little Ladybug Hugs 