Archive | February, 2012

My List of Awesome

10 Feb

Little warning – this post will go into detail on everything from blood work to bowel movements. It’s not for the faint of heart or those with a weak stomach. That being said it is the awesome that I find in our day-to-day life.

When I first heard about “The Book of Awesome” by Neil Pasricha I was a bit surprised that such a book could become so viral. But it is the feel good light read books like his that give us the warm tingly feelings inside. It takes us back to times when we could relate to all the awesome things that were talked about. Whilst I still have these brief moments of awesome, they have taken a different path since my little ladybug came into my life.

This is not a typical post but I wanted to share the things in OUR day-to-day life that I find awesome.

Trips to the local children’s hospital
When we arrive in the above ground parking lot with 5 minutes to spare before ladybugs appointment and we find a parking spot.

Running into nurses, doctors and staff who are so happy to see us especially since we are just visiting.

Accessing ladybugs port on the first poke and watching the blood flow nicely through the tube. Every month we bring ladybug in to have her port-o-cath flushed with heparin. This prevents clotting and a whole lot of headaches. Two very big concerns with the port are all the germs that could cause a line infection or her blood clotting.

Winning the parking machine lottery. With parking in the Standard Park parking lot at the hospital it is typically $20.00 a visit. However every once in a blue moon if our appointments go smoothly and we are in and out, that horrid machine will become like a slot machine. We put our ticket in fully expecting it to say $20.00 and it says $18.00.  I know what you’re thinking two dollars you are excited over two dollars? Darn right!  For some strange reason I feel like I’ve just won the lottery and walk away with my two dollar coin and a big smile.

Home Healthcare and Community Support
Having our fabulous nurse Lisa back. I can’t begin to stress how wonderful it is to feel comfortable doing the simplest of things like running to the grocery store, having a night out with my baby daddy or being able to just veg for a couple of hours knowing that our daughter is in great hands.

A physio/occupational/speech therapy team who look at my daughter and see more than just a cute little baby they see potential.

Being able to share a video with the speech therapist of ladybug taking turns playing the tambourine with me and watching her in awe because she can now see what we’ve known all along – that ladybug is capable of communication.

Watching my daughter sign “more” on her own for the very first time when her physiotherapist stops bouncing her and singing songs. FYI crying in your childs physio/speech therapy session is a  lot more common than you’d think.

Friends & Family
The support both physically and emotionally I get from our family and friends near and far reminding me that I am never alone.

Getting an email from a dear friend letting me know that it isn’t much to offer but she is always there if I need to talk. After hearing of a second child from our CDG family passing away in under one week her offer was more than enough and exactly what I needed.

My mom coming to help out when ladybug has a day full of appointments  at the hospital especially if she’s fussy. (Ladybug not my mom)  🙂 Or staying up all night in the ER with me when ladybug was really sick.

Getting a hug from my sister-in-law to be after my first miscarriage. She’s not one to give out hugs often and willy-nilly, which is probably why that hug from her meant more to me then I could ever begin to explain.

My cousins little guy making room in the bath tub so the baby (ladybug) could have a bath too. Warmed my heart to see how much kids are drawn to my baby girl.

Home Life
Watching my princess snuggle up with daddy and become so comfy she has a huge puddle of drool on his chest.

Signing and saying “doggy” with ladybug and seeing her face light up as the dog comes over to give big kisses and be pet.

Going into the nursery to set up the evening feed when ladybug is half awake, watching her wave her arm until we rest our hand on her tummy so she can put hers on top and hold our fingers.

Poopy bums occurring every day once or twice a day not 9 times a day or every 3 days.

Trying to clean up a little one after her bowels decide to kick into high gear. The entire time she is kicking like a little froggy, trying to roll over, and is just so darn happy one can’t help but laugh at the huge mess left in the aftermath.

Keeping with the same theme – finding the PERFECT amount of Restoralax to add into the formula. It must be a slightly rounded 1/4 tsp nothing more or less.

Getting through the entire week without the feeding pump “NO FOOD” alarm going off even though it is full.

Listening to ladybug talk up a storm in her crib at night instead of sleeping.

Finding new tickle spots to make my baby girl giggle.

Snuggles. She’ll nuzzle her little head right into your neck, wrap her arm around yours, and will enjoy every second.

Seeing the mischievous side of my ladybug through her eyes. Right before she is about to do something she knows she shouldn’t she gets this cheeky little grin and her eyes light up and open wide. Most recently it was her wiggling her way almost completely out of her car seat.  She was unbuckled and lounging while eating her lunch. No need to worry I was right there watching her. The best part was when I tried to shift her back into place she became stiff as a board and giggled.

My daughters smile.

So there you have it. This is a little insight into just a few of the things that brighten my life everyday and make it awesome.

True Strength

3 Feb

This morning I  found out that a sweet little boy we’ve come to love from our CDG family passed away in his mothers arms. I sat staring at my computer screen for what felt like an eternity trying to find the right words to say to this amazing family who had just lost their son. I’m sorry had been said so many times but what else is there to say. My heart feels like it has been broken into a million pieces and even though I’ve never met this sweet little boy in person he is family and I can’t stop crying and thinking about how hard this must be for them.

I went into ladybugs room early this morning and picked her up and held her so tight trying to muffle my tears so I wouldn’t wake her.

Each time a child from our CDG family passes away it unlocks that box that I keep trying to hide deep inside me. It makes the horrible things that this disorder is capable of seem to move from a possible prognosis on our children’s medical files to reality. I feel like I’m in an after school special waiting for the heartwarming music to begin when I just keep saying it isn’t fair! It just isn’t fair! There is no treatment for CDG, there is no cure for CDG it just isn’t fair!

My heart goes out to the family – I really wish I had the words to say to take away the pain that they must be feeling. I wish there was more I could do.

Ladybug is cozy in my arms now, chatting and soaking up every ounce of the continuous snuggles she’s received so far today.

I must be strong for my daughter.

It’s okay for us to fall apart every now and again – we’re human. It’s the strength we find deep within ourselves even when it looks impossible that helps us get through those times.

I  came across this on one of the groups for parents of special needs children I belong to – it is so true.