Yesterday began as every 1st Friday of the month does. We packed up all our gear and headed to the local children’s hospital for blood work and to get Ladybugs port flushed with Heparin. The Heparin stops her blood from clotting in the line.
When we arrived and were brought into the room there was something different about my little princess. Typically, Ladybug is all smiles during these visits. She loves kicking her feet to hear the crinkle sounds on the paper that covers the bed, and is usually quite calm as they prep and access her port. Today she wouldn’t let go of my hand. As I put the mask on my face to protect her from germs her eyes began to slowly fill with tears. As soon as the nurse cleaned the site with the alcohol swab her lower lip started to quiver and the alligator tears began to flow.
Up until this very moment our little Ladybug never really understood the things that were happening to her. I guess we were lucky considering some of her medical issues would have brought many a grown up to tears in pain.
My sweet baby girl was looking up, pleading with her eyes for me to make it all stop and hold her. All I could do was hold her hand and put my head next to hers on that crinkly paper. I was thinking in that moment – how nice it would be if she could eat ice cream. Then I would go out after this was over and buy her the biggest scoop with all the toppings she wanted for being such a brave little girl.
After we were all done I picked Ladybug up and held her tightly in my arms. By the time we had reached the car all was well with the world and the tears (both hers & mine) had disappeared. It was in that moment that I came to realize love is the most important thing my little Ladybug will ever want for. No amount of ice cream cones with a million sprinkles, video games, and toys can or will ever compare to the love and attention we give our children.